The Issue: For or Against Abortion
Abortion is an injustice against human life that harms everyone involved. It not only ends a unique and valuable life in the womb but also often leads to decades of shame and regret among women and men. The wide demand for abortion points to the breakdown of marriage and the reality of many societal ills that many men often contribute to. For decades, however, most men have been content to stay on the sidelines of the abortion debate, not sure if they should be for or against abortion.
For some men, the circumstances of unplanned pregnancies seem too complicated to speak into, especially when they consider they will never be pregnant themselves. Instead of leaning in to learn more, they embrace a seemingly compassionate alternative: leave the decision (and the whole topic) to the women involved.
Men that do stand against abortion seem to do so only politically, often with little understanding of the difficult factors that lead people to seek an abortion. Thankfully, there are not only sound reasons men should be against abortion, but also loving, positive, and practical ways to do so as well.
Why Men?
The most notorious cry of abortion rights advocates, “my body, my choice,” has been successful for decades at keeping men from feeling they have a valuable opinion, even when their opinion is asked for and needed. Science has made it clear that the unique DNA of new life forms at conception is not itself “her body” but the body of the child she is carrying inside her body. Nevertheless, pregnancy brings intense personal and physical implications that a woman faces when she says, “I’m pregnant, now what?”
However, when men use those biological realities as reasons to “step back,” women are left isolated to make the choice on their own, possibly now missing the exact support they needed. In surveys of women who had an abortion (2015) and men whose partner had an abortion (2021), men proved to be the greatest single influence in the decision, even though almost one-third of men said nothing.
The father of the baby is vital in the decision both because he had an active role in creating the pregnancy and because he has the potential to play a profound ongoing role. From pregnancy onward, a father’s involvement leads to a host of better outcomes for mother and child. Imagine, then, the frustration of facing a difficult unplanned pregnancy as a woman, but when you ask if your partner is in it with you, he says, “Well, it’s your body, so it’s your choice, right?”
Why Should Men be Against Abortion?
If men have such a big influence and stake in the decision, why should they be against abortion? Because, again, abortion is an injustice against human life that harms everyone involved. Abortion in all three trimesters takes the life of a unique human being, devaluing their potential and robbing them of any chance of a future. Abortion poses understated risks to women’s physical, emotional, and spiritual health. And abortion robs men of their unborn sons and daughters, impacting them regardless of what part they play.
When speaking with men involved in unplanned pregnancies, I often ask them what their knowledge is of abortion. Most of the time, they say something like, “I think she takes a pill….” I help them process 1) where their child is in development, 2) what the various procedures would entail for their partner, and 3) ways the decision could impact their life and relationships as well. After this discussion, a statement like, “I’ll support whatever she chooses” takes on more meaning.
No Easy Answer
The situations surrounding unplanned pregnancies can be incredibly complicated. In fact, those that serve in pregnancy center ministry cope with compassion fatigue, burnout, and even secondary trauma. But we believe there is hope for every situation and recognize that abortion is not an “easy answer.”
John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Abortion steals hope. It ends innocent lives. I’ve seen it destroy relationships, marriages, families, and consciences. It promises to be an escape from difficult circumstances, yet it often adds a burden of grief that pushes people further down into sin and despair and makes it doubly hard to rise out of those circumstances. It’s the opposite of the abundance that all men should desire for their fellow humans.
How Should Men Stand Against Abortion?
When it comes to how men should stand against abortion, the best way to start is with the gracious words of the man, Christ Jesus. He teaches us to be merciful, meek, and mournful in The Beatitudes. He directs us toward righteousness and purity and to be peacemakers. And Jesus promises blessing and reward even if this all leads to false accusations and persecution.
With such a heart of humility, there are many ways for men to make a difference in the abortion issue. As you read this, hundreds of pregnancy centers are expanding their services and launching new programs to help expectant fathers find their voice and learn how to be good dads. The men that are joining this initiative as staff members and volunteers include pastors, businessmen, medical and counseling professionals, retirees, and manual laborers… not to mention me, a professional violinist.
The Church Community
Significant progress is also being made to help churches become the central point of compassion on this issue rather than a place where people fear judgment. Recognizing that many people in the church are wrestling with current and past pregnancy decisions, pastors can preach not only on the sanctity of life but also on forgiveness. Men in the church can stand against abortion by leading small groups for single dads, marriage classes, or youth ministries.
Any man can learn more about how to serve by going through Making Life Disciples, a basic training for individuals and small groups to help them offer compassion, hope, help, and discipleship to those considering abortion in their church and in the broader community. And Care Net would like to invite all men to attend our annual “Called & Missioned” Pro-Life Men’s Summit with Tony Evans in Dallas, TX.
Why All Men Should be Against Abortion
I have a friend who is not a Christian but who recently surprised me by saying he was against abortion. This came about because someone close to him was facing an unexpected pregnancy and shared with him that the baby’s father was pushing her to get an abortion. My friend did some research on what an abortion would entail and said to her, “No way, we’re going to help you!” He and his wife have been there for this mom and her child ever since.
What would it look like for all of us to do the same for those close to us? To not only be willing to speak against something that is wrong and harmful but to do so in a way that also allows us to walk with people through all the ups and downs towards something better. Serving in this way is how all men can find a stake in this issue and where we’ll witness true solutions for unimaginable hardships.
Additional Resources:
