So, you’re pregnant. Your partner just broke the news to you. A whirlwind of emotion is likely circling your mind, and the emotions can be overwhelming. As men, there’s the temptation to avoid our feelings or even combat them in our minds.
In a scenario as serious and important as pregnancy, it is vital to recognize your emotions. You must understand what you feel and why you feel the way you do. Seeking this understanding is strenuous and difficult, but necessary. Without a proper understanding of your feelings, you will only move forward with confusion.
To bring peace to your partner, yourself, your family and your friends, take the time to understand how you feel. Even if this is the first time you have honestly considered your emotions in your life – now is the time. Once your thoughts and feelings are clearly defined and preferably written down, let’s think about your best next steps.
So, You're Pregnant: A Call to Be Great
To be a great man is to shoulder meaningful responsibility. Sometimes, the call to be great sounds at the most inopportune moments. Pregnancies are often surprising news. However, with every unexpected pregnancy, a man has the opportunity to grow, be stretched and create an impactful legacy.
What greater call is there than to raise a child? As a man, you have the chance to be a steady rock for your partner. You are the one person in the world that can bring comfort to her in a time of fear and confusion. And you are the one person that can encourage her to be the mother you know she can be. Your words now carry more weight than ever, so use your words intentionally.
This circumstance is your call to be great. It is the opportunity of a lifetime.
Words From Someone Who Was Nearly Aborted
My name is Jess, and I was almost aborted 24 years ago. In their early twenties, my parents found out they were pregnant. They had no money, no plans and no wedding ring. Their circumstances were strenuous, but the news of a baby proved incredibly stressful.
My parents mutually decided that abortion would be the solution to their problems. With having an abortion, they would not have to share their situation with their loved ones. They were told that the financial strain of a child would seemingly disappear. Furthermore, the responsibility of being a parent would be lifted. It seemed that abortion was the answer.
Nearly Aborted
My dad wrote a check to the abortion clinic and sat in the waiting room, watching my mom walk back to have the procedure. Several minutes later, he watched my mom return to the waiting room. Immediately, he noticed that her eyes were red and puffy. She had been crying. My mom explained to my dad that she was still pregnant. She was so overwhelmed with the emotion of her pregnancy and surgical abortion that she hyperventilated and passed out in the operating room. In response, the clinic sent her home, still with a child remaining in her womb.
So, You're Pregnant: A Brave Choice
A few days passed, and my dad had a choice to make. He could convince my mom to go back to the abortion clinic, or he could choose to stay by her side. When my mom shared with my dad that she wanted to have the child, my dad made the decision to stay and support her.
My parents got married while my mother was pregnant with me. I was born just a few short months afterward. Today, I have an incredible relationship with my parents. My mother has always been a present, loving voice in my life, and my dad has always been a strong, compassionate ally to me.
While in the womb, I was not seen as a child but as a problem. The moment my dad chose to shoulder the responsibility of fatherhood, my personhood was acknowledged. My dad was an incredible father to me. Even though he was young and seemingly under-equipped, he fought for his wife and son. He is a hero to my family.
You Will Be a Great Dad
You, too, are now positioned to be a hero. Right now, you can be a hero for your partner and your future children. The heroic path, however, is never the easiest.
Choose to shoulder as much responsibility as you can carry. Leave a legacy that inspires generations to come. Determine to be the man that you know you can be. Choose the purposeful path.
You’re not alone! Focus on the Family has great resources for helping you and your family during this challenging time. Check out these links or call 1-800-A-FAMILY for more information.
