Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
“I think I have found my “soulmate!” You might have said this or wondered about the possibility of a soul mate, especially as you binge-watch romantic movies and hear characters like Jerry Maguire say epic lines like, “You complete me!”
In today’s world, the concept of a “soul mate” is deeply ingrained in our culture, fueled by romantic literature, movies, and our own desires for a perfect match. But did you know the term “soul mate” is not found in the Bible? Instead, it finds its roots in Greek mythology, where humans were once whole and were then split into two, destined to search for their other half. However, in the Bible, we can find a more divine perspective on our longing for a life partner, where God’s guidance plays a crucial role in forming a meaningful and lasting relationship and perhaps leads to a marital “Happily-Ever-After.”
Table of contents
Soul: A Bible Point of View
The Bible uses the term “soul” extensively, over 700 times in the KJV, highlighting its significance. In the Old Testament, we read in Genesis 2:7 that “man became a living soul” when God breathed life into him. In Hebrew, “soul” (Nephesh) represents the inner person, the seat of desires, emotions, and passions. In the New Testament, Jesus emphasizes loving the Lord with all our heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37). Here, “soul” means the vital breath of life and signifies an individual’s unique personhood.
Proverbs 9:10 tells us that “the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,” emphasizing that our pursuit of God is the foundation for wisdom in all areas of life. So, since the Bible lays out what God’s best for humanity is, let’s take a glimpse at a healthier journey toward discerning your life partner.
Healthy Method
Since God created and initiated our souls, it’s natural to expect that the Holy Spirit plays a vital role in guiding us. John 14:26 assures us that “the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” Likewise, in John 16:13, we learn, “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth.”
The Bible makes it clear that our souls are God-initiated, and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit is a divine gift. 1 Corinthians 2:12 emphasizes:
“We have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God.”
This divine guidance extends to forming relationships, whether friendships or romantic partnerships.
Healthy Pursuit
To prepare ourselves for a beneficial and fulfilling relationship, we must seek God with our whole hearts and desire personal growth through His power. In other words, seek to become the person you’d like to marry—character counts! Galatians 5:22-23 describes the fruit of the Spirit, highlighting the qualities we should cultivate:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” Colossians 3:12 emphasizes traits we can choose to clothe ourselves with: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.”
A simple question is, “Am I relationship ready?” In our own lives, because both of us grew up in chaotic and dysfunctional homes of origins, God took each of us on a journey where we pushed pause on dating to spend more time in healing our hearts as individuals and allowing God to remake and remold our inner life and character.
To repair our brokenness, God had us spend time studying wholesome leaders with integrity and healthier relationships in the Bible: men like Joseph, Boaz, and Jesus, and women like Mary (Christ’s mother), Ruth, and sisters Mary and Martha. We both agree that we might have missed one another before our “Dating Sabbaticals” because we were too needy and driven by self-centered desires. You can hone your spiritual senses by allowing God to fine-tune you and teach you a more godly way of decision-making.
Author Gary Thomas, in his book SacredSearch, shares this principle:
“When Jesus tells us to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33), He’s making character development a key priority for his followers. Nineteenth-century writer Henry Drummond wrote, “Since we are what we are by the impacts of those who surround us, those who surround themselves with the highest will be those who change into the highest.”[i]
Healthy Partner
It’s crucial to prioritize seeking God’s guidance. The story of Ruth illustrates this principle. Ruth initially married Naomi’s son, but after his death, she chose to follow Naomi back to Israel. She listened to her wise mentor, Naomi, which kept her safe and provided food and shelter for her and Naomi. By following the wisdom of her mentor, Ruth was guided to the field of a godly and successful man, Boaz. Eventually, she married Boaz and bore a child, and she is in the lineage of the Messiah! Ruth’s story teaches us that God can guide us, even to one life partner after another, if we follow God with a whole heart. This Biblical romantic story shows that seeking God for wisdom in our love life is more vital than the concept of wandering the globe, desperately seeking “your other half” or soul mate.
Healthy Timing
While we often hear about finding “the one,” the Bible suggests there can be more than one suitable life partner in our journey. Healthy timing is essential, and as we seek God, His sovereignty will bring the right person into our lives.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 reminds us, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Galatians 4:4-5 emphasizes waiting for Divine fulfillment, in other words, desiring God’s timing more than our own: “But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son.” As you patiently wait, remember Habakkuk 2:3, which assures us we can trust God’s timing, “For the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.” (ESV)
In our book, The Before You MarryBook of Questions, we remind our readers, “Your job is to seek and follow God’s plan and path, it is God’s job to cross your path with the path of the one He has intended for you to marry.”
Healthy Commitment
In your pursuit of a life partner, remember that God plays a pivotal role in guiding your path. Seek Him with your whole heart, cultivate your character, and prioritize a healthy relationship with a partner who shares your commitment to God. Perhaps it isn’t so much looking and looking for the perfect partner that you can live with in wedded bliss, but rather, looking for someone you can’t live without, even with all your and their imperfections redeemed by the faithful, unconditional love of God.
When God’s timing aligns with your life journey, calling, and values, God will help you discern and grasp that you have indeed found your “soul mate.” It is really as you first say, “I will” to Jesus, then utter “I do” at the wedding altar, that you two become “soul mates,” joined by God’s divine hand. Your vital choice on your wedding day and every day following is to cherish and protect that bond for life,
“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
[i] Gary Thomas blog 1/7/21 Adapted from Sacred Search https://garythomas.com/2021/01/07/ask-yourself-these-two-questions-before-you-agree-toget-married
